Mom's House, Dad's House: Making Two Homes for Your Child

Most of them I skimmed and saved references to the useful information. This was about the only book that made me stop and read it from cover to cover.

It's incredibly complete, with realistic advice on how to approach each situation that arises.


Downright Educational and Awakening!   July 19, 1998
26 out of 26 found this review helpful

I have to say that I am currently in the process and almost finished reading the original Mom's House, Dad's House - Making Shared Custody Work and I cannot emphasize enough how much it has changed my belief system on shared placement (responsibilities). The very first page of Chap. 1 made me cry. My main concern was that our son (4 1/2) feel as though he had a place HE could call HOME. I felt that flip flopping back and forth on the current 5,5,2,2 day schedule was unstable for him. I feel as though an angel touched me on the shoulder and brought this book into my life. My view instantly changed about shared placement when the little girl from Chap. 1 responds to the businessman on the airplane that she has two "real" homes. I tear up thinking about each time. I no longer feel that our son should be placed primarily with me - that he will have 2 homes - 2 families and that is wonderful for him. I especially love the use of "rose" words and changing ! such terms of "visiting" to "living with" each parent. I have already implemented the use of these terms. The surveys are also wonderful self examinations that (if answered truthfully) will be so educational for you. The use of a "Parent Agreement" is also something I think is wonderful. I have already typed the initial draft and I plan to approach my child's father with it and get his input. It was great to see the different stages literally mapped out for you. I also enjoyed the chapter on changing your once intimate relationship into a business relationship and avoiding the negative intimacy that can be so prevalent in these situations and how to avoid "hot spots".

I cannot emphasize how inspirational this book has been for me!! I would and do strongly recommend this book to anyone thinking about, in the process of, or in a post-divorce situation. I believe you are guaranteed to learn more than you could possibly expect to - but you! will. Just sit back - open your mind - and the education w! ill be unlimited!!! God bless all of you who are facing any part of a separation or divorce in your lives. My prayers are with all of you and your children.


Change your ideas about "winning custody."   April 9, 1999
29 out of 31 found this review helpful

I cringed when I heard a divorced friend of mine complain that his wife was unfairly accusing him of taking all the best stuff when they divorced, because she "got" the kids. How awful for children to be things to be won. Kids need homes and parents, and this book will help parents caught up in the current culture of "winning custody" to understand that "reasonable visitation" is a rotten way for kids to relate to their parents.

This book effectively explains what parents can do to help their kids feel loved and important and continue meaningful relationships with both parents. I highly recommend it to any divorced or divorcing parent who is committed to minimizing the divorce's negative effects on their children. The author's ideal of "two homes with no fighting" is right on track.

I also highly recommend Dr. Richard Warshak's "The Custody Revolution: the Father Factor and the Motherhood Mystique."


My Handbook   June 16, 2003
20 out of 21 found this review helpful

I think this is an extraordinarily valuable book. This was my guide through a very painful process, perhaps the single most difficult thing I've ever experienced.

I think the book correctly takes the high road, and focuses on the right things. This book won't heal your hurts, it's not supposed to do that. It can help you get on with life. And, my circumstances were very, very painful - involving addiction, infidelity and deceit. I chose to be an adult, and keep my kids out of the process. Thanks to this book, I was able to avoid a lot of the "battling tops" games that typically arise in these situations. I got down to business, put my emotions in check, and got it done. And, I'm a MUCH happier person today.

And, the proof is in the pudding: my kids about got STRAIGHT A's, DURING the divorce process. Their lives continued, while Mom and Dad figured it out, as adults, away from them. That's how it should be, they're the innocent victims. There were no games, no using the kids, no yelling. My ex and I crafted a very unique parenting plan, that was applauded by our attorneys AND the Judge.